Sunday, September 12, 2010

Of Changes and New Intentions

Glorieta 002

This has been a summer of change. From a new job to new friends to new experiences, it's been a whirlwind. This has also been a summer of introspection. When I look back to even a few months ago I can hardly recognize who I was. It's crazy and it's wonderful and I have the grace of God and some pretty amazing people to thank for it all.

Where did this come from? That's easy. Glorieta. That week was easily the most emotionally challenging and healing week of my life. A lifetime of emotions brought to the surface. Pain that I didn't even realize I had been carrying around with me. I broke that week. I'm not a crier, but I can't count the times I just started to feel the tears run down my face. And every time there was someone to lend an ear, a hand on my shoulder, words of encouragement, a silent hug of support. It was nothing like I had ever experienced before. I could feel God working in my life. By the end of the week I felt lighter and freer. My spirit was mending. As Tony would say, I had the joy, joy, joy in my heart.

Coming back from camp I was fired up and ready to make changes. I've been penning notebooks full of ideas, but I've been allowing myself to fall back into my old pattern of insecurity. What I have to say can't possibly be useful. What if I make a mistake. I can't put myself out there like that. This week I've felt change bubbling again. I'm done with it. I'm done with these self destructive patterns. I'm going to make a public commitment here and now to work through it as we usher in this new season. If summer was the season of riding the waves of new changes, let's make autumn the season for intentionally carving a new path.

Along those lines I spent my morning having an intense quiet time and a lengthy entry into my journal was manifested. Going off of what I wrote, some specific commitments that will be the focus of the next few months as I make them into my daily way of living:

I commit to...

● recognize and deal with guilt/insecurity/negative emotions on an immediate basis.
● eating more naturally. Less preservatives and more from scratch.
● being more active in ways that actually interest me. Walks through the park. Perhaps some tai chi or yoga.
● expressing myself in an authentic way and worrying less of what someone might say.
● being creative everyday. Even if it's only for ten minutes. Anything counts. Cooking, painting, drawing, crafting, writing, photography.
● Blogging regularly and being supportive towards others in the blogging community.
● prioritizing the things that are important and cutting out what's not.
● having a daily quiet time with God.
● spreading positivity to those around me. Being an encouraging voice to others. Random acts of kindness towards strangers.
● nurturing my curious nature. Going back to the library more often again. Searching out new experiences. Taking classes.

What are your intentions for this coming season? I'm looking forward to this new journey (as now commemorated through a new look here at Quirky Charm) and hope to be able to share it with you. If you want to join me in any of these commitments (or commitments of your own), I would love to be able to encourage you along the way! Together we're stronger than we are on our own.

Glorieta 001

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