Thursday, June 9, 2011

Diving In

Almost three months. I don't really know where to start, but I do know that while I feel bad for disappearing without a word, I don't regret the time away. I've been having growing pains lately and I needed to regain my focus. I started this blog back in 2007. I was in the middle of college. I had an elaborate vision of how my life was going to unfold. I was going to be a librarian! I was going to move out of Las Vegas! As life goes, pretty much none of my plans came about as I was expecting. God had different (and remarkably more amazing) plans for me. I've been subconsciously and consciously fighting them all along and I didn't really realize that until recently. I've been trying to fit dreams long past into a life that no longer fits those dreams. I don't really fit those dreams. And it took a morning spent at a coffee shop to realize it.

It was a Saturday morning, not unlike my normal routine of running errands with my mom. We stopped in Cafe Leone (more on this another day, but if you're in Las Vegas I urge you to give it a whirl!) because I was craving a granita and something chocolate. I've been there several times, but that day being surrounded by old world charm and a delightful flurry of conversation in at least three different languages started a stirring inside of me. Cue my ah-ha moment. I was approached by a woman who liked the broach my mom was wearing. She was wondering where she could purchase one when I told her that I had made it myself. A twenty minute conversation ensued during which she earnestly urged me to start selling them. I don't know why, but as many of these that I've made the thought to sell them had never occurred to me. Then I felt it. A complete and utter sense of peace and purpose.

I wish I could say that this was the beginning of my happily ever after moment, but I was still allowing fear and doubt to run the show. Who do I think I am to sell anything when there are so many more talented designers out there? What if someone says something nasty? How thin can I spread myself before I snap? It was a ridiculous flurry of what-if's. In came a brief, but intense, bought of depression and I almost lost it again. Thankfully God doesn't work that way. I've been seeing little (and big) hints along the road. Tips of the hat that let me know that He's been here all along; that He would be there as soon as I stopped being avoidant. After a lot of prayer and a deep breath I'm finally ready to dive in. I'm ready to follow the purpose He has for me wholeheartedly, even if it does take me leaps and bounds out of my comfort zone. This means that my first line of broaches will be available on July 1st. This means a relaunch and revival of Quirky Charm. This means so much more behind the scenes that I'm not going to share quite yet, but I'm immensely excited about. I have a new set of dreams that are ready to soar, and more importantly be worked on in practical steps. I am blessed to have such an amazing group of friends and family to pick me up when I fall (and know that they will be there even when I fall again) and I am blessed to have you all here as well. Thank you for following my journey up to this point and for those of you who decide to come along with me now I'm excited to share this new road with you. I'm back.


  1. A tone of things happen overnight and suddenly you notice how changes are coming just like that and without noticing at first.

    It's been a while since the last time I read you and commented here but I hope to hear of you a lot more. Take care!